Tough Lessons Learned So Far As A Working Mom (and how I overcame them)
Hey GIRL HEY HEY HEY!!!!
This is my very first blog post and I’m so excited to share my best job search secrets, tips, and all the things to help inspire women in their career! My mission is to help women feel confident while taking care of their babies and pursuing their dreams. Let’s face it, us corporate mommas need some love and I’m your cheerleader cheering you on to the finish line. The purpose of my blog is to ignite action in women as you take charge in your career and dive deep into your purpose.
When we find our purpose and our WHY in all aspects, our impact becomes much greater than we ever imagined.
Becoming a mom has challenged and stretched me in so many ways that I never thought could be possible. Being a mom has taught me to face my personal weaknesses, let go of things that don’t align with my greater goals, embrace what I can control, and live my life with intention every single day. As I continue to assess how I can make impact to other women, I want to share some tough lessons I have learned this past year as a working mom. It’s about to get real and raw in this post, so buckle up!
1.) My worth is not measured by my job title
If you’re a go-getter like me (which I’m guessing you are because you’re reading this), you thrive in wanting to be the best version you can be at work. You take pride in your work sister, and you like being a valuable contributor. You want to keep up with proving yourself in a male-dominated industry and have high standards for yourself. You love to give 100% in your career, and now that you’re knee deep into motherhood, you’re realizing this journey you’re on is HARD. Like REALLY REALLY HARD!
As I struggled to figure out being a working mom, I realized that I needed to appreciate exactly where I was today. For years, I had been on this hamster wheel of trying to prove myself so much to others, that I constantly felt not enough. I honestly thought when I was winning in my corporate job, that it defined who I was and my worth. Then when I had my daughter and I had to slow down and adjust to motherhood, those negative thoughts started to creep up and it wasn’t pretty. The reality is, when we lead our careers by constantly seeking the approval of others, we will never be satisfied. I realized very quickly that I wasn’t living for me, I was living to gain approval on things that ultimately did not matter. My goals and ambitions never changed, but where I was today looked a lot different than what I thought it would look like. I took close to 6 months off from work completely to be with my daughter and it was the best decision I have ever made. I thought for sure after 3 months of maternity leave I would be ready to get back to it, and then I wasn’t ready. I thought after 5 months I would be ready, and I wasn’t. After 6 months of not working at all, I still wasn’t ready to go back to work full-time and guess what? IT WAS OK. I remember crying numerous nights because I didn’t know where I was going with my career and this was completely uncharted territory for me.
I realized my current situation is not my final end game
2.) Set up boundaries
I learned quickly we cannot be everything to everyone. As women, we grew up praising the “woman who can do it all” mentality.
I know now that you can’t do everything but you can do anything.
We are so hardwired to be the “yes girl.” Yes to that extra stretch assignment, yes to volunteering for this, yes to taking on that task. We say yes not because we really want to, but because we are hardwired to please. We want to please our children, our husband, our boss, our friends, our parents, and everyone else. We just can’t realistically say yes to everything and need to understand that saying no is actually the responsible action when we already are at full capacity with priorities. We need to get honest with our time and ensure we protect it because if you don’t treat your time like it’s sacred, you will get burnt out sister.
In the spirit of eliminating chaos, try saying no for a few days and see what happens. Watch how you start to realize the benefits of saying no to things that don’t bring alignment to your bigger goals right now. Focus on saying yes to the things that matter and bring you joy. If the decision will bring on extra stress, it’s a clear no.
3.) Give yourself some grace
Okay this one is good guys….giving ourselves some grace. Yep, some grace. We cannot be perfect moms and I sure don’t know who on this earth is. There is no roadmap to becoming a mom, no manual that came with your baby, and certainly you can’t predict what changes your life will have once you become a mom. I had this “game plan” in my head of exactly how I thought my life was going to look like post-baby. I had this agenda for myself and my baby, and I realized that I needed to learn to be flexible because God has other plans for me right now…and it’s ok! Some days I feel like Beyoncé with waking up early, getting my workout in, I get all those to do items checked off, and my daughter’s naps are all on point. #winningright? The reality is, this does not happen every day. In fact, some days it’s chaos with constant adjusting and having grace with myself that it’s going to be ok. I realized when I started following a schedule loosely that has the ability to pivot, I felt better about it and wasn’t so hard on myself.
There you have it, these were some tough lessons I learned being a working momma! Mastering how to align my goals to what’s truly important as a working mom is still a continual learning journey friends. I’m excited to deliver impactful content to you every week and if you found this article helpful, please join my tribe by subscribing to my email list so you can get even more tips, information, and lessons to strengthen your career as a working momma!
I also included this FREE guide for you to download! I like to take care of my community and I want to make sure you have the best of the best tips and knowledge. My free guide has my top job search secrets for women (and moms)!